we're chasing vodka with high fives
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
