wakey wakey hands off snakey
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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