I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
