A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize