U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize