Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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