Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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