would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
