Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize