I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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