Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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