So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
