Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hippo gnu deer
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize