So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
