so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
