I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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