He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she looked like the before picture.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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