obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
