at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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