It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
