I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
