Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
