Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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