I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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