We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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