Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's rum buckets o'clock
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
