Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Operation Purity has been aborted
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
