i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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