So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
