who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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