I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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