Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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