WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
