You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
