your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
of course. lets lasso hookers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
