Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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