it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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