so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize