do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
