He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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