i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
