i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
