Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
