then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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