I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
