I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
