so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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