Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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