So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We're too hungover to prance.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
