We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
