It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
