we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
