): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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