This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
