I am in a vortex of obligation.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
