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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

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• (738): View more from

  I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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• (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit

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• (347): View more from New York

  how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed

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• (830): View more from Texas

  we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me

  (512): View more from Texas

  please stop trying to sleep with him

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