just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
