I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
