I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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