My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
