i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
